Scenario: You're at your desk working and decide to squeeze out a quiet one, as not to disturb anyone at a nearby cubicle. You're distance is enough that no one will smell it unless you A: point a fan in their direction, or B: they approach your desk.



Now that you've let it out, and the heat crawls up your shirt, you realize that this was a good one! Just as you realize that, a co-worker either calls and says they are on their way over, stands up from the desk adjacent from you and begins their approach, or calls your name from outside the door as they begin to enter.



Decisions:



A: Let them walk in, **** it. Maybe if you’re lucky they’ll be yawning!!

B: Stand up and move toward them, hoping to leave the cloud behind.

C: Quietly signal them to “stay there”, as you waft your hand near your *** hoping they understand you..

D: Begin making faces as they stop in front of you asking what dead animal they brought on the bottom of their shoe.

E: Laugh hysterically, when you see their eyes start to water then say “GODDAMN that was a good one”!!!

F: Kindly say "I'm sorry, I've fallen subject to Irregular Bowl Movement Syndrome. I **** myself uncontrollably from time to time.."

G: Ask them for a breathmint

 

mentos?

 

I just act like I don't smell anything.

 

Ditto. If I'm lucky it'll make them leave sooner.

 

it would just depend on who the person was. if i cared about what the person thought of me and they wouldnt think it was funny i would prob cut it, this is when you slice your hand right in front of your butt so that the fart will not follow, and go to them. otherwise i would just stay there and tell the person that it didnt smell until they got there, or not say anything

 

blame it on someone else. or on something. As in



"someone farted and it really stinks"



"i wish they would take that trash. it smells like ****."

 

I say "What? Of course I farted. Do you think I always smell like this?"

 

Sniff loudly and say "Wow is that a new perfume/colonge? Smells great!"

 

Bah! In my office we own up to them. Even the women enjoy letting out a healthy one every once in awhile.

 

dangerous, as they may get the impression that you are used to smelling like that....