A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said

it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because,

even though, it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The

little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the

teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was

physically impossible.> The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I

will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The

little girl replied, "Then you ask him".



> > > > __________________________________________________ ____



A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while

they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what

the drawing was? The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused

and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a

beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a

minute."



> > > > __________________________________________________ __



A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her

five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy

Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches

us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one

little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."



> > > > __________________________________________________ ___



One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes

at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several

strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She

looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your

hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do

something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns

white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and

then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"



> > > > __________________________________________________ __



The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how

nice it will be to look at it when you are all grownup and say, 'There's

Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small

voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's

dead."



> > > > __________________________________________________ ___



A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to

make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,

the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the

face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing

upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A

little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty



> > > > __________________________________________________ ____



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God

is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of

the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had

written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

 

Funny Stuff

 

Yea don't argue with children... definetely some good advice for certain situations on Nopistons LOL

 

thats good stuff



mike

 

HELL YES thats amazing

 

shut it gonorrhea





heh j/k man

 

lol i'm seriously taking those to work

 

Yeah!

 

lol everyone thought those were awsome